doubt

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I’m going through another time of intense self-doubt when it comes to my ability to be athletic or physically inspiring in any way. I’ve been subbing BodyPump quite a bit lately, and that’s been … uh, a mixed experience, let’s say. Many people are very nice and cooperative… some, not so much.

Everyone is there for the same reason, to get fit, to have fun with a group while rising to a challenge. But I’ve had a tough time of it this week, and I’m seriously thinking I may never teach anything but BodyFlow or yoga ever again.

Man, that idea makes me happy. Relieved. I get BodyFlow. I get yoga. Why do I keep banging my head against a wall trying to teach these programs that are just not me? I might be strong and fit, but ‘powerful’ would be a reach, and I’m certainly not ‘gritty,’ not ‘grr.’  I can get all the benefits from BodyPump I love by taking the class. I teach just to be helpful, really, but sometimes I feel like it would be better just to stick with what I’m good at.

ETA: I’m also pretty sure this is a hormonally-inspired bad week, and that I might very well love teaching BodyPump tomorrow.

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