Motivation

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A month or two ago, I had a hissy fit about writing. In sum: “that’s it, I quit. I don’t have time or energy for this, and it’s a crappy book anyway that the world is not going to miss.”

I was feeling pretty run down overall, and something had to give. Writing wasn’t fun, just felt like more work.

I think I’m starting to understand the people who say, “I write because I can’t not write.” I didn’t think I was like them, because it was pretty easy to do anything but write.

And yet, I keep coming back to writing. My story will call to me. “You don’t really want me to sit here unfinished, do you?” I’ll watch or read an interview with a writer and it will resonate deeply with me. I keep coming back to writing, that this is the path I need to be on, whatever may come if it.

When people ask Those Questions – you know the ones, like what would you do if you couldn’t fail, if you could fail; what do want to be doing in ten years – it’s always being a novelist.

I have found actually taking the time very difficult. As everyone does. Even when I put it at the top of my list, it ends up buried under laundry, dishes, obligations.

I use the Habitica app to motivate myself about almost everything, and it’s changed my life. It has not helped me stick with writing, though. So now I’m going to try Beeminder. In that app, you set a goal, and if you don’t hit your target, you are stung- fined actual money.

That is crazy motivating for me. Don’t take my money! I set a goal of five hours a week, writing. This is time to sit at my desk and keep the project moving forward. It can be what Anne Lamott calls a “shitty first draft,” but if I finish even a first draft of a novel, it will be the first, and I’ll be proud!

Wish me luck. 🙂

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